Further to my last post, thinking about friends, I have been considering the kind of friend I am to myself. I am trying make a conscious effort to be kinder to myself, particularly with a view to keeping my ‘inner critic’ in line. I often say things to myself that I would never say to someone else and often hear friends and family doing the same.
Why do we think this is a good idea? What would the impact be if we only said nice things to ourselves, showed ourselves more support and less criticism? Are we being kind to ourselves?
I am not saying that the plan here is to spend all day blowing my own trumpet, oblivious to the impact of my actions because I love myself a bit too much!
A kinder approach could be allowing some time to consider how we currently view ourselves, having an awareness of our own self belief and commit to making some helpful changes if needed. I am committing to;
- Keep the focus on positive self talk only
- Let myself think big for my future
- Accept I am making a good enough effort to warrant feeling proud of my current self and of who I aspire to be.
This also means not latching on to the unhelpful thoughts that my inner critic seems to pull from nowhere …. why would anyone want to read my blog / what do I know / I need to read more, eat less cheese (probably true) / am I a good enough wife, friend etc etc
We all know that no one is perfect and I am not even sure how we would measure this anyway. It really isn’t about being perfect. For me it is trying to be the best I can be in all that I do and giving myself a break if things don’t quite go to plan or as expected (expectations – that’s a whole other discussion)!
I appreciate that the ‘self love’ mindset isn’t for everyone, and it still seems to be a new concept (maybe a bit too fluffy?) for some people but it is definitely better than the ‘self doubt’ option.